i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
whose parrot is this?
Let's get the cat blown out
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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