guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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