What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
