the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
