I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Randomize
