I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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