K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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