the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Randomize
