On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Randomize