No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
