I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
