Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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