would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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