I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
