I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
