OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
