dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
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