I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Randomize
