woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize