And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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