do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
If I die, sorry about rent.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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