guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
