but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Success! We fucked roommates!
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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