first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
