Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
