Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
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Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize