ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
No subtext here. People are naked.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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