is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
