the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
