maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My vagina just recognized that song.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
