I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
