You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
