oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
