he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
