Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Randomize
