Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
