Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
why do cheetos always look like penises
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Randomize
