for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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