In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I look better un-naked...
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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