I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
