what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
