Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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