Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
