So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
