Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
