I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
