I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
