Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
