So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
