question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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