he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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