the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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