brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
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