I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
