Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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