whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize