he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
