I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
